...begins with a single step.  Or so the saying goes.  I thought it would be fun (well, not fun, but would keep my energies in a positive direction) if I had some sort of blog or external source for my thoughts as I progressed.

 

But this journey is undertaken by so many, and so often, I wonder if I can make a positive contribution to anyone else?  Can my experiences be of any use to anyone else who follows me?  Does it make their journey any the less for having my mistakes glare at them from the screen?  I sincerely hope not.

 

I once distained men like myself, who chose to kneel to women (or other men) and wear a collar as weak-minded fools.  I have found very quickly that is not the case.  In fact, the weakness of minds lies in their inability to accept things that they cannot fully understand.  I still do not fully understand what I have become - what I have chosen to be - and so, count myself among the number of idiots that inhabit Gor in its various forms.

 

Why do I not fully understand?  The answer is simple - I am a beast of twin natures, opposite in so many ways.  I am a slave: obediant, docile, pleasing, passive.  And I am a man: decisive, aggressive, protective, and intelliegent.  I am a feeling being, even when situations call for an unfeeling attitude.  

 

So what am I to do?  It seems that, to me, there is simply one answer to that, and funnily enough, it is expressed in Gorean terms: 

 

"Do not ask the stones or the trees how to live , they can not tell you ; they do not have tongues, do not ask the wise man how to live for, if he knows, he will know he cannot tell you; if you would learn how to live, do not ask the question, its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so." 
                                                                             Marauders of Gor, page 9

 

I think I will take another step, and see where it leads.  To this end, I have begun to dance - an art form that combines writing (something I love), with music (something I love) and animations (something that costs a good deal of cash) to create dances in Second Life that I may perform for the pleasure of others.  

 

I've made some friends in this area too - other slaves, though all female, who have helped me out (and even given me hours of their time already, and who ask nothing in return for it).  I think, there, I might find the answers I am looking for as to the nature of who I have chosen to be.

 

Perhaps, all it takes for an answer to these questions, is to ask.